One question : Have you heard the lyrics to the song that was featured on episode 3 of the WeeWonna Talk podcast?
They go like this :
Don’t be scared
to be scared
Everyone’s
been there
Just breathe in
to your heart
and feel your fear
depart.
Don’t be afraid
to feel afraid
cause everything
will be ok.
If you breathe,
you can breathe
the scaries away.
The lyrics and melody are adorable. And they couldn’t have come at a more apt time for me (Deborah) this week.
Going into my second week with COVID, the “scaries” seem to be a constant companion, mainly because my chest and breathing were not spared from this insane virus. Luckily, my oxygen has remained stable but consistently feeling like you can’t take a deep breath in or get a satisfying breath . . . is . . .well . . . horrible. And I found myself joking with Valentina (one of WeeWoo’s co-founders) that I needed the “scaries song” more than the kids this week. And it’s true. Hand me my headphones, please!
But isn’t that the case often?
The lessons we find ourselves teaching our kids are the very lessons that we need to hear in that moment?
Children get be great mirrors. And we are often teaching them things that we need to learn . . .again (damn it).
Well, I found myself getting all depth psychological this week (you gotta watch us, doctors). And wanted to remember and write down some basic psychological wisdom around fear.
1. Do. Not. Repress. Fear.
As tempted as we are (in our mind and body— hello fight or flight response) to flee, we cannot flee from fear. When we repress our fear, it only gains power and energy within us and tends to erupt in unwanted ways at unwanted times. Oh, hey anxiety attack while reading Mr. Messy to my son. (The irony of the title of that book isn’t lost on me).
A teacher of mind explained this phenomenon to me in a way that I will never forget. He said, “Think of your emotion like a beach ball and you are standing in the ocean. The more you push that beach ball down into the water, the more force it has to pop back up.” Now, you will always have this image in your head too. You’re welcome.
2. Keep. It. Simple.
In a fearful state, the last thing you need is complicated practices or psychological techniques. That’s why the “scaries song” was so relevant for me this week. The simple, simple wisdom really helped and the simple melody. Think of what you would tell a scared child, and tell yourself that.
I found myself going back to my deep breathing often and consciously relaxing my mind when I would feel frustrated or desperate. Sometimes it would work better than others, and that’s ok. There’s no one-trick-pony or we would all be riding it by now!
3. Talk.
Sometimes, I talk to my fear. Yep, I just wrote that. Talk to people around you about how you are feeling (this is super important and something I always encourage to kids and also adults) but also talk to your fear. Ask why it is around and what it has to say.
This helps me create some distance between me and my fear. And I realize that fear is only one emotion among many others. Even though fear is holding the microphone, standing in the spotlight, at the dead center of the stage . . .there are others who want a chance to speak also. Perhaps, faith is there. Give him/her the microphone for a while and listen in. What does he/she have to say? Or love? Or strength? Ask them each what they have to say, and you fear will begin to be only one voice among many, rather than the solo star.
4. Put on your headphones and listen to our “scaries song.”
We are here for you ; ) “Don’t be scared . . . to be scared . . . everyone’s been there . . .” In fact, I’m there right now. So . . .you are not alone.
5. Write a blog about it.
That’s what I just did. And it helped, because I can imagine you reading this a few days from now and that’s cool. Like an invisible but very intentional conversation.Hey, the other blog option for this week was “COVID ate my creativity.” And the entire blog was four words : Gobble, Gobble, Gobble . . . Gone!”
So, hopefully this blog, is a little more helpful to all of us as we continue to weather this strange, strange world in 2022.
“If we breathe . . . we can breathe the scaries away!!!”
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